1. Good Victims only have one bad relationship ever, because they learn from their mistakes.
2. Good Victims always cut their abusers/rapists out of their lives immediately, no matter how high the cost or the dangers involved.
3. Good Victims are never angry, they do not lash out, they do not…
when people trash kesha i just remember
and then i dont really care
PSA to everyone who hates Ke$ha: She wanted to get into a completely different genre, but the only genre the record company…
The Holocaust was a state sanctioned, systematic capturing, enslavement, torturing and execution of Jewish, Romani, homosexual, disabled and communist individuals over the course of two years in which over 10 million lives were lost.
American slavery was the lifetime commodification and demoralization of African descended persons in which they were exploited for labor and capital gain. Women were raped, children were fed to alligators, families were broken apart and tens of millions of people were killed.
Neither of these events correlate with abortion in any way, ever. Stop using them for your anti-choice agenda.
BOSTONIANS: Feel free, nay, feel obligated, to reproduce and distribute.
Full story here.
PSA of the Day: YouTube makeup guru Lauren Luke is using her powers for good with a tutorial on how to cover up the physical effects of domestic violence — but her message is not quite what you’d assume.
Join Luke’s campaign to help women break the silence here.
Excuse me while I sit here, crying at the dining room table. Please talk about this stuff, people. You are worth the world and no one deserves to be treated any less.
Even if we’ve never met, even if we don’t know each other, please don’t hesitate to message me. I’ll always have an open ear and heart.
He is a rapist. And when men “accidentally” rape women he says that the survivor is partly to blame for not making it clear enough when she wasn’t consenting.
He thinks it’s dangerous to be a feminist all the time, comparing it to being in a cold body of water.
I’ve just been alerted as to this scumbag’s existence. Here’s his wiki page.
TW for rape threats:
Ok, usually I love the Oatmeal, but there is so much wrong with this I can’t even. This is so completely steeped in blind Male Privilege and misogyny. It’s even pulling some gaslighting!
1) WOMEN ARE NOT INCOMPETENT GAMERS. I can’t even stress that enough.
2) What woman gamer has actually had this experience? Because there is blog after blog and countless stories of women gamers being subject to hateful namecalling, threats of rape, and horribly sexist declarations of “get off the console and back into the kitchen!”
NOT COOL, OATMEAL. Not cool.
are you fucking kidding me with this bullshit comic
This tops my list of sad, tragic, surreal things for the year: a school shooting at my dad’s alma mater. There’s a Facebook event planning to wear red tomorrow to show our support for the victims, and I’ll be participating. I don’t really know what else to say here, so I guess I’ll leave it at that.
“The Way It Was”: Abortion in the US before Roe v. Wade.
I’m just going to post this as often as possible until pro-lifers read it: abortion rates are the same everywhere, whether abortion is legal or not. 70,000 pregnant people die every year from unsafe abortions, and 5 million more are permanently injured or mutilated by them. KEEP IT LEGAL. KEEP IT SAFE. KEEP IT ACCESSIBLE.
Parts of this article almost made me physically ill, but that’s the reality of illegal abortion. Reading about these women, who died at the hands of a system that left them with no other options, I couldn’t help but picture the women I know who’ve made the choice to end a pregnancy. But for a couple of decades, it could’ve been my friends slowly dying on a hotel room floor.
New rule for 2012: No more ad campaigns and public service announcements targeted at women to teach them how to avoid rape. It’s not effective, it’s offensive, and it’s also a lie. Telling women that they can behave in a certain way to avoid rape creates a false sense of security and it isn’t the most effective way to lower the horrible statistics which show that 1 in 5 women will become victims of a completed or attempted rape in their lifetime. The numbers for African American women are even higher at nearly 1 in 4.
We need anti-rape campaigns that target young men and boys. Campaigns that teach them from a young age how to respect women, and ultimately themselves, and to never ever be rapists. In addition, we should implore our men and boys to call out their friends, relatives, and classmates for inappropriate behavior and create systems of accountability amongst them.
There are a number of men who do not understand what constitutes a “rape”, which is a consequence of the “stranger in the alley” falsehood presented in movies and popular culture. You don’t need a mask and a gun to sexually violate a woman. The truth is that rape can happen with a woman you are dating whom you’ve had sex with previously, in a monogamous relationship, and even in marriage. If one party withdraws consent at any time then it’s rape. Consent can be withdrawn by the words “no “or “stop” and in many states, a woman doesn’t have to say no at all. Consumption of alcohol can prevent a woman from being able to legally offer consent. Therefore, it is important for men and women alike to be very clear about their intentions and prioritize consent over the excitement of getting some.
Our community, much like society-at-large, needs a paradigm shift as it relates to our sexual assault prevention efforts. For so long all of our energy has been directed at women, teaching them to be more “ladylike” and to not be “promiscuous” to not drink too much or to not wear a skirt. Newsflash: men don’t decide to become rapists because they spot a woman dressed like a video vixen or because a girl has been sexually assertive.
How about we teach young men when a woman says stop, they stop? How about we teach young men that when a woman has too much to drink that they should not have sex with her, if for no other reason but to protect themselves from being accused of a crime? How about we teach young men that when they see their friends doing something inappropriate to intervene or to stop being friends? The culture that allows men to violate women will continue to flourish so long as there is no great social consequence for men who do so. And while many men punished for sexual assaults each year, countless others are able to commit rape and other crimes against women because we so often blame the victim instead of the guilty party.
Holding women and girls accountable for preventing sexual assault hasn’t worked and so long as men commit the majority of rapes, men need to be at the heart of our tactics for preventing them. Let’s stop teaching ‘how to avoid being a victim’ and instead, attack the culture that creates predators in the first place.
This past Thursday, a group of men started cat-calling/hitting on a group of women in Chicago. When the women said, no, the men threw bottles and then SHOT at their car as they tried to drive away. One woman was shot in the shoulder, and the driver took a bottle in the head as she tried to drive off. Last month in Washington, DC a Transwoman was shot for turning down a man’s request for sex as she sat in her car. In August a woman in Atlanta was shot for refusing to get in a car with a group of men. In May of 2010 a young woman was shot in the leg for turning down a man’s advances.
Ok, so that was one googling, which also yielded an article on a woman in Australia who was shot in the thigh after refusing to perform oral sex. Many people will claim that these are just “isolated” incidents. But three of those took place in the last two, two and a half months. That’s not really isolated, in fact, that sounds distinctly like a pattern.
When guys complain about women not giving them a straight answer, this is why. Granted, these are fairly extreme. However, on a regular basis women who turn down men, no matter how nicely, are insulted, yelled at, spit on, hit, kicked and knocked to the ground. Most of these assaults go unreported because women know that the police aren’t going to take them seriously, particularly if they’re dressed at all nicely or “sexy.”
This is why the Schrodinger’s Rapist post resonated with so many women.
“Why are you afraid of women?” I asked a group of men.
“We’re afraid they’ll laugh at us,” replied the men.
“Why are you afraid of men?” I asked a group of women
“We’re afraid they’ll kill us,” replied the woman. -Margaret Atwood
When men ignore our boundaries, try to push or test them, we rightfully feel that they are a bigger risk for pushing even more important, dangerous boundaries, like say, raping or hitting you.
Yeah, I know, a lot of you are out there (if you’ve gotten this far) thinking, “That’s bullshit! I’d never do that!” And maybe you wouldn’t, but we can’t take that chance. And when you push boundaries or ignore our “No”s, even about small things, this puts you higher and higher up on the risk scale.
We can’t take those chances because when we’re raped or assaulted it’s always our fault. Everyone tells us so. Every single person who says, “I’d never blame the victim, but if you’re wearing a short skirt, what do you expect?” Every fucking magazine with their “Ten Things You Can Do to Not Be Raped” articles, that place all the onus on women, and none of it on, oh, the rapists.
How do you not scare women?
Respect their boundaries. Take no at face value. As a commenter said over on Pharyngula, you have nothing to lose: If she meant no, you’ve respected her wishes. If she meant “pursue me harder” or whatever bullshit, then bullet dodged. You don’t want to deal with that kind of mind-game playing, anyway.
But in all seriousness, guys, if you ever wonder why women act like their scared of you, read the above links again.