1 week ago
509 notes
Anonymous
Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause, and evidence exists that a significant proportion of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners. Pregnancy can be an especially dangerous time for women in abusive relationships, and abuse can often begin or escalate during the pregnancy. Don't EVER say an abortion is not needed to escape abuse or death because you CLEARLY have no idea what you're talking about.

misandry-mermaid:

oh-snap-pro-choice:

oh-snap-pro-lifers:

Well if a woman is in abusive relationship and the guy isn’t much short of having her at gunpoint and threatens her and black mails her into an abortion, or scares her into an abortion, and there’s next to nothing she can do, then he is an evil piece of scum. The abortion is still murder, but I’d say the blood is on his hands, not hers.

Let me be clear though, the abortion is still completely wrong. And an unborn human being is still equally is dead and mutilated. - Gabbie

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship before Gabbie? I’m willing to bet you probably haven’t. Let me explain then.

The abuser WANTS their victim pregnant usually. They WANT a child involved so that the person has no choice but to stay with them under their power, they use that to their advantage and use the child as leverage to prevent their victim from escaping.

THAT is why abuse victims need abortions. We need them because we cannot be trapped with our abusers, because we know it will kill us and because we know what sort of future that child will end up with.

If I had gotten pregnant off my abusive ex I can say with 100% certainty that I would have aborted and would not have regretted it for an instant. Because if I hadn’t and been pregnant? Well for one think I would have taken my own life. (But my life doesn’t matter to you does it?).

For another it would have made me financially dependant on my abuser, because an unemployed, depressed 18 year old with no financial support and no education simply cannot survive as a single parent in my city. And adoption would not have been an option either considering pregnancy cost and maintenance in addition to pregnancy being a potentially massive mental health trauma.

If you have never experienced abuse in a relationship or rape, then do yourself a favour and please, never, ever talk about it because you don’t know shit and you’re ignorance is both appalling and insulting. Especially considering you would be perfectly happy to have trapped me with my abuser and perfectly okay with me killing myself. Just so long as I didn’t have an abortion instead.

-Lemon

When my mom was in her early 20s, she was in a relationship with a somewhat abusive guy and he got her pregnant.  Within the first few weeks of them finding out, his abuse escalated to the point that he was physically hurting her and preventing her from seeing her friends or family.  He was extremely controlling, manipulative, and paranoid.  She knew if she had the child, even if they broke up,  she would have obviously been forced to keep that abuser in her life for decades because he would have requested custody and visitation rights.  Finally one day, without telling him, she moved out of their shared apartment and got an abortion.  Because of the choice she made, I am alive today.  I was the wanted child she was able to have because she had access to abortion services as a young woman.

7 months ago
74,329 notes

dignified-and-old:

benedict-de-spinoza:

girljanitor:

notjustanotherstatistic:

Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don’t leave

I fucking hate it when people say the woman is stupid for staying with her abuser and it’d be so easy to leave. 

NO IT ISN’T.

7 years later it’s still a possibility I consider. That 70% window doesn’t really close. No matter how far you move (3,000 miles, then another 1,000), or how different your life becomes. Staying in one place sometimes feels like a slowly accumulating weight.

I guess I never really thought about it that way before.

People who blame the victim can literally just go into space without a helmet

It’s really fucked me before up looking at stats in my state of women & children killed by men in DV incidents in a year because how close to being that were we? Pretty close I think but how much longer would it have been?

A girl I knew from high school was killed by her husband a few years ago. In articles about the murder there was a man in the comments who put the whole thing on her, for not leaving. On top of having two young children with her much older husband, which makes just picking up and going pretty tough, the woman in question HAD left; he became enraged during a phone call and came to where she was staying and strangled her. But that didn’t matter to the man in the comments with his “she could have left” (and attitude he also turned on women who spoke up to say that they’d been in that situation too and he didn’t know what he was talking about).

I’ve heard men say straight-up that they have “no sympathy” for a woman who stays with a man who hits her; well, that’s nice, I have no conception of you as a human being anymore in that case.

11 months ago
722 notes

Help needed: funeral expenses and moving costs »

autumnyte:

(TW: Domestic Violence)

I’ve never made a post like this before. But I’ve seen the tumblr community do amazing things, and I’m hoping you can help.

My friend, Georgina, had a 30-year-old sister named Penelope who was killed on May 9th as a result of domestic violence. Penelope had three beautiful girls, all under the age of 8, who are now left without a mother and with a father on the run. 

image

The plan is for the girls to be placed in the custody of their grandparents, but the family is in desperate need of funds to make this happen. Friends are coordinating a fundraiser to cover the funeral expenses and moving/ongoing transportation costs. The goal is $20,000, and if anything is raised beyond that, it will go toward the substantial expense of rearing three young girls. 

Any amount you are able to contribute would be a big help to these little girls and this woman’s stunned, grieving family.

If you aren’t able to donate, please consider a signal boost. Thank you. 

1 year ago
1,257 notes

huerca zafada: on being good »

desliz:

1. Good Victims only have one bad relationship ever, because they learn from their mistakes.

2. Good Victims always cut their abusers/rapists out of their lives immediately, no matter how high the cost or the dangers involved.

3. Good Victims are never angry, they do not lash out, they do not…

1 year ago
4,267 notes

greenschmoodle:

thedailywhat:

PSA of the Day: YouTube makeup guru Lauren Luke is using her powers for good with a tutorial on how to cover up the physical effects of domestic violence — but her message is not quite what you’d assume.

Join Luke’s campaign to help women break the silence here.

Excuse me while I sit here, crying at the dining room table. Please talk about this stuff, people. You are worth the world and no one deserves to be treated any less.

Even if we’ve never met, even if we don’t know each other, please don’t hesitate to message me. I’ll always have an open ear and heart.